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I’ve taken the liberty of putting together a list of questions that I think are important for a couple to talk through. On one hand, they can help you see how much you and your partner are “looking in the same direction.” On the other, they give you a chance to spell out what a comfortable life together means—something each of us sometimes pictures very differently. And then there’s the third, and most important, reason: simply to get to know each other a little better and a little deeper.

This list, of course, is yours to tweak and add to however you see fit. Treat it as a starting point for a conversation that will help you “compare notes” and understand a little more deeply how the inner world—and the “okay/not okay” system—of the person you share your life with is put together.

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Author's page — @VintoVkina_arina